Friday, April 26, 2013

This I Believe Essay

Dante Carroll This I Believe Essay I believe that hard work beats talent when talent does not work hard. This is for all the people who are not recognized for the effort they put in, and may not play because another player. There are many occasions all over the world where a player is extremely lazy and thinks he/she does not have to work hard or practice. Then turn around and start the next game. While there is someone else training day and night just to get their efforts recognized by the coach. You may or may not be in that position. If you are do NOT give up. Even though that it may seem like there is no one watching you or paying you any attention, there will be that one person who will give you a chance. The wait will seem like forever but it will pay off. Trust me; it took me two and a half years for coaches to recognize that I had talent through my hard work and effort in practice. When I got the opportunity to play I made the best of it and showed them all the hard work I put in during the off season and in season made me better. Do not give up especially if it is a sport you are extremely passionate about. Just keep working hard and your time will eventually come.

1 comment:

  1. I believe that you are truly passionate about your belief. I also like the way you phrased it. "I believe that hard work beats talent when talent does not work hard". - That the type of phrase that will stick with a reader. You may consider mentioning it again at the end of your essay so that it comes full-circle.

    27/30

    When it comes to the technical stuff:

    "...someone else training day and night just to get their efforts recognized..." - pronoun antecedent agreement. Remember singular antecedents (someone) get singular pronouns (he/she)

    "Then turn around and start the next game". - Fragment

    Don't forget to use commas. You have some run-on sentences that can be fixed by employing a properly placed comma.

    ReplyDelete